a first.

books brought to me from uwajimaya. i have a few japanese crafting and sewing books. i can't read japanese, though i wish i could, and one day i will (i hope). the book in the middle has caused a first. the first time i have seen a purpose for geometry in my life. i hated that class in high school. i did bad. i didn't get it. i asked and asked and asked and the teacher just thought i was being a pest. he was annoyed. he didn't like that the way he taught didn't get through to me. i asked him to explain it in a different way, but there was never time, he didn't care. so i was mad. i didn't like him. i didn't like that i didn't get it. so i chose to not care. i don't know why he passed me, but he did, barely. it was the only D i ever got. even though i wanted to know and understand, since it wasn't happening i figured i would never really need to use it anyway. i didn't care. well. that middle book sitting right up there is the first time in my life i have seen a purpose for knowing and understanding geometry. there are no patterns to trace in this book, only dimensions, angles, numbers. there are tons of really cool things to make in this book, so i will figure it out. i am excited for the challenge and i bet i will 'get' geometry just fine with this very exciting purpose for figuring it out. i wonder if any other time in my life geometry will make its way into my life? i wonder how i would be different as a person had i not spent so much time sitting in that class getting frustrated and feeling stupid or challenging the teacher or speaking my misunderstanding in front of peers. i wonder. was it wasted time? scarring? or did it enrich? blossom in me qualities that perhaps wouldn't have blossomed otherwise? i wonder.